Kisses

Hamhock kissed his first girl today.  Gulp.

She’s a tomboy in his Kindy class; really sweet, nice, funny cute girl.  We had her over for a playdate & they went out scooter-ing.  I was watching from the yard, and he dropped his scooter and ran over to her with a big bear hug, and then planted one right on her lips!  Oh. My. Gosh.

When they came back I tried to explain to Hamhock that you can’t kiss girls unless they say “yes” *after* you ask them.  Yeah. . .we’ll see how that goes.

On another note, Superboy had his very first cavity (first for either kid) and it was a bit of a struggle in the chair, but he powered through it and got to get two prizes afterwards.  He chose a glittery, shiny, jeweled ring.  Yes.

And he wore it all day proudly on his finger.

Yep, my boys.

1 in 100. Yikes.

The CDC released its latest autism figures just a few weeks ago (December 18, 2009).  Their current findings indicate that Autism Spectrum Disorders (Autism, Asperger’s and PDD-NOS) now affect 1% of children in the US, or 1 child out of every 100.  This shows an increase of 60% from 2002 – 2006.

Yikes.

David Kirby of the Huffington Post, conducted a phone interview with Dr. Thomas Insel, Director of NIMH and Chair of the IACC (Interagency Autism Coordinating Committee) to interpret the CDC’s findings.

The highlights of his interview are:

1.  Better diagnoses do not explain this huge increase.
2.  The causes are both genetic and environmental.  “There is no question that there is an environmental component here.” – Dr. Insel.
3.  Finding environmental exposures that trigger autism are essential in order to decrease the epidemic.

Let’s hope those in positions of power and science and medicine can figure the solution out.  Soon.

Girls!!

Last year in preschool Hamhock would say girls were icky, although he loved to chase them around squealing at high-pitched decibels at recess.

This year in Kindergarten, Hamhock has made friends with two girls in his class, Ahnika and Mackenzie.  Although, I have to say, they are definitely more tomboyish than cute and princessy.  (Not that there’s anything wrong with that, but hey, he’s my kid, you know!)

So. . .we had a playdate with his friend Ahnika at our house!  It was so cute.  She marches right in and asks Hamhock to see his room (usually boys just start playing and they want to see his toys, not his room).  Very very cute.

The other day we were picking up Foo’s drycleaning when Hamhock pipes up from the back seat:  “That girl is pretty!”  “Which one?” I asked.  “The one with the long hair and glasses.”  Oh. My. Gosh!  So very cute.

Superboy, on the other hand, has always been in touch with his feminine side.  He’s very comfortable playing with and talking about girls.  He’s going to marry a hundred super hero girls when he’s a man, he says.

I can read!

Hamhock read his first book this week!  And, Superboy followed right along.

Mrs. Larson started sending home this week these little books for the Kindergartners to read and check off.  Like always, my anxiety hits, and I was nervous how to get starated because we of course have a bit of a struggle to do homework (thanks to Foo, it’s been going better – dads rock!).

Well, Hamhock was excited to read it!  We’re working on only 3 words so far:  I, See & Sam.  He read all 6-8 pages of the story using those three words, and I couldn’t have been prouder!  Then, Superboy read it too, (which is great, to have Superboy follow along as I struggle to do these things with Hamhock).

It made up for my feeling like Lousy Parent #1 this Monday when karate so did not go well.

We left early because Hamhock was about to meltdown for not getting a sticker because he moved during the “focus your body” exercise.  Superboy was his typical silly little goofball,  – not paying attention, making other kids act goofy.

ARRRGGGHHH!  I just hate being in those situations where you feel like every other parent is looking at you (because you’re the loudest thing in the room) and probably feeling grateful they’re not me, and you feel like such a sore thumb.  Of course I went home and cried all night.  Karate instructor was not worried, though.  He said Superboy’s the youngest in the class, and he’s willing to be totally flexible with Hamhock, and for me to  just stay consistent.

Buddy the Elf

After getting our Christmas tree, we watched Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer with the boys for the first time and they loved it!  It whet my appetite to watch Elf with Will Ferrell as Buddy the Elf again. . .

Hamhock has a buddy too. . . the fourth grade class comes down once a week or so to do various activities with the Kindergartners.  One day while dropping off Hamhock in the morning, I watch him run over to a big kid and drape his arms around his waist.  So cute!  I went over to see what was going on. Hamhock just stared at him with adoring eyes.  He told me this is his buddy, also named Isaac.  He is a really nice boy and was very patient with Hamhock holding on to him in the school yard.

Here are a few things Hamchock answered during their “get to know you” Buddy activity one day:

1.  My favorite color is red
2.  I love to eat donuts & hamburgers.
3.  My favorite tv show is Wolverine, Hulk & Ironman.
4.  If I could be a make-believe character, I would be Hulk.
5.  My favorite thing about school is drawing.
6.  I love to play video games.
7.  If I could travel anywhere in the world, I would go to Candyland (hee!).

Tantrum Time

This time, it was Superboy. We’re talking a very intense, rigid, non-negotiable all-out 4-year old tantrum.

Hamhock had parent teacher conferences with no school.  I wanted to drop Superboy off at preschool, and go to Hamhock’s classroom for the P/T conf.  Superboy knew what was going on, and he wanted nothing of it.  He dug his heels in and refused to go to preschool.  I realize that sometimes/often I have less patience for Superboy because I “expect” him to comply because he doesn’t have the nerological deficits that belong to ASD.

I finally dropped him off, heaving and with tears streaming down his face, with the preschool teacher.

But, I felt bad about it all day.  The intense, angry, panicky emotions I feel in those moments are just so horrible.  It makes me feel so out of control, while I was raising my voice to get Superboy to calm down and go to class, but my head is telling me to *not* raise my voice.  Hamhock kind of freaks out in those situations and he’ll start hitting me to stop me from getting angry at Superboy.

In this instance, it was all in front of the elementary school in the playyard.  Ugh.

Superboy’s got a tough road.  Hamhock is intense and demanding and bossy, all as wonderful benefits of having a brain wired with ASD.  Superboy loves and looks up to him as little brothers do.  We expect more of Superboy, and are probably more lenient with Hamhock as we pick and choose which battles to fight.  It’s tough.

I’ve noticed that Superboy wants to follow Hamhock’s lead.  Hamhock says he doesn’t want to go to school?  Superboy says he doesn’t want to go to school.

I just hope both of my boys will someday forgive me for the mistakes I make, and have good lives in spite of my shortcomings as a parent.

Moms who let their kids. . .

. . .watch CN and Nick will appreciate this one:

I’ve allowed my kids to enjoy spending their credits on Fruit by the Foot treats on the way to and from school. Here was this morning’s conversation:

Hamhock: “I replace your cough by Fruit by the Foot.”
Superboy: *coughs* “So you did.”
Hamhock & Superboy: *laughing*

HAR!

This morning as we approached the Kindergarten playground I hear lots of squealing. Apparently, it is ‘boys act like monsters while chasing the girls around the playground’ day. Human nature is so fun to watch in action. The boys have these silly smiles and goofy tongue-protruding faces, while the girls are running from them with their little-girl-high-pitched-screams and huge smiling faces.

I’m just so happy that Hamhock joins right on in.

I don’t know why. . .

. . . but today was the first day that Hamhock went to school just fine without his strawberry Fruit by the Foot reward (ok, fine. . . call it a bribe, whatever. . .).  Two darn stores didn’t have the strawberry flavor, and so I bought the combo flavors, but he does not like them.  He smells them and says “yuk!”  I smelled them, too, and I get it.  The strawberry *does* smell better.

So he simply played with the yucky berry tie-dye all the way to school and was very silly about it, but didn’t fight me or tell me any reasons why he just shouldn’t go to school today.  We were even running late b/c of strep-frickin-throat for my 4th time in 5 years, and Superboy was up all night with a fever and asthma, and I was rushing to get him to the pediatrician after the Kindy drop-off.

Upon my return for pick-up, Hamhock runs straight to me and gives me a big hug and a smile.  So cute!  Then. . .

1. On the way home, I ask him:  “What fun things did you do at school?”  He has, every day until today, ignored the question.  Today he totally expressed something about looking around the school for a special place and was obviously very excited.  !!!!  I learned later from Mrs. Larson’s weekly newsletter that they have written a letter to the Moon, and are waiting and searching special places in the school to discover a response back (patterned after a book they read).
2. Then while he was coloring after his snack, he started telling me all about his old preschool teacher Mrs. Riley visiting the class, but more importantly that she brought “Mrs. Larson’s daughter Lora!  Mrs. Larson has a daughter named Lora!” Lora is actually in Superboy’s preschool class with Mrs. Riley this year.
3. Finally, when Fooboy was asking Hamhock how school was on the phone, he answers:  “School was great!  It was fun!”

He was then a very pleasant, happy little boy all day.  He hasn’t broken one rule today and hasn’t taken one time-out.  (Until literally 30 minutes ago when bedtime started).  We went out searching for bugs in the rain and got 2 potato bugs, 1 weird ant-fly thing, a daddy long legs (minus one leg, sorry, spider), and a grasshopper!!!!!  The grasshopper was trying to hide behind our new sunflowers and kept moving 180 degrees behind the stalk, each time I would reach around.  But I got him, minus one leg, too.  Not sure if that happened already or in the capturing.  Sorry, grasshopper.

We also had our first speech therapy last Thursday with Helen at the Scottish Rite Learning Center (Freemasons in Salt Lake City offering children free speech therapy with a grant from Shriner’s Hospital  – go Masons!  Woot!)  It went great.  Helen has over 30 years experience, and a great, tough, kind of boisterous approach which just fed right into Hamhock’s personality.  The whole thing was a game and he loved it.  My favorite thing about the session was every time he would answer a question he would point at Helen and shout:  “In your face!” and then laugh hysterically.

HAR!!!!!

Helen said about 40% of the children she sees have speech delays due to autism spectrum disorders.  She gave me the best compliment by saying that whatever we’ve done has given him some incredible skills!  YEE-HAW!!!  She said she can see why our school district tested him as too high-functioning and they wouldn’t touch him without alot of pushing from me, but she definitely had some areas that we can work on to help him improve in processing delays (took about 5 seconds to remember the word yellow, for example) and a string of adjectives (couldn’t point to the right cat:  “point to the little, black kitten in the corner of the box.”)

And, did I mention it’s free!?!?!

Now, if I can only get rid of the pain in my swollen throat gland. . .I must have a virus cold on top of the strep. . .ugh.  Hopefully Superboy will sleep through most of the night tonight. . .

Well, I’m beat.

Whew.

First week of school under our belts, and I’m purely exhausted.  Getting Hamhock anywhere ON TIME is a challenge.  Doing it 5 days in a row is going to be exhausting.

And, I suspect it is for him, too.  Everything he does requires a lot more energy, focus and determination for him to get through.

I’ve been praising him every day for following Mrs. Larson’s rules, and telling him he’s earning extra credits (following our Nurtured Heart Approach by earning credits for following the rules).  We cashed in all his credits earned on Friday for a new video game.  I love seeing that flicker of excitement in his eyes, when I tell him that we need to count his credits because I think we’re getting close to enough to be able to purchase a toy/game.

I suspect we’re going to be buying lots of rewards to get us through each year. . .!

Kindergarten!

So. . . yesterday was the first day of Kindergarten.

It went OK.  Hamhock was a little apprehensive, didn’t say much one way or the other on the way to school, and as soon as he saw his buddy Wes he started to look like he was excited.  It was a little chaotic with all the anxious parents helping their kids in the classroom, and he started crying at one point b/c he wanted to sit next to his buddy.  Wes is a super sweet kid, and he came over and patted Hamhock on the back and sat down next to him.  All was good, and I left.

When I came to pick him up, Hamhock even flashed me a quick smile, and when Foo called to see how it went he said:  “It was good!”

Today was a different story, though. . .

As soon as we got in the car, Hamhock CRIED THE ENTIRE 15 MINUTE DRIVE!  Ugh.

Here are all the reasons he said in between tears why he shouldn’t have to go to school:

1. “It takes too much time!”
2. “It makes my nose bleed.”
3. “I’ll be too hot.”  (I answered that he should have worn shorts & a short-sleeved shirt.  He responded that even with shorts, it makes him too hot.)
4. “I don’t like Mrs. Larson.”
5. “She looks different.”  (She has been wearing contacts instead of the glasses she wore when he first met her).
6. “It makes my tummy brain hurt.” (?)
7. “I don’t like it.”  And, my favorite:
8. “It hurts my feelings.” (!?!?!)

Finally when we got there he saw his other buddy Korbin and they immediately started playing on the slide and having fun.  He was grumpy when I picked him up, though.  And, I still have the anxiety tension headache that started yesterday morning.

I have a feeling I’m going to be needing alot of ibuprofen to get me through each school day for the next 9 months. . .

Ready for first day of Kindergarten!

Feeling less apprehensive with his buddy.