June 28, 2010
I like to tell my boys often that they are “good boys.”
Most especially because Hamhock struggles often to follow the rules, keep his impulses under control, learn to deal with his anger, etc. I want them both to know that even though the may make a bad choice, or do something wrong, that the choice was bad, but they are always good.
As I was walking through the hospital to visit my mom after her knee surgery this past Saturday, Hamhock called me from Gramma’s house.
Hamhock: “Mom, I’m eating an orange!”
Me: “Good for you! That’s healthy.”
Hamhock: “Can I hang up now?”
Me: “Yep, have fun at Gramma’s. Bye.”
Hamhock: “You’re a good mom. I love you!”
Me: “I love you, too.”
So super sweet! That makes up for the rest of the time when he gets mad at me and calls me a liar when something doesn’t go right . . .which happens at least a dozen times every single day (hurmpf).
So, I’ll take it, sweet good boy of mine.
April 14, 2009
For the first time the other day, we went to Toys R Us and we didn’t have a huge meltdown or tantrum to buy a toy (I usually avoid this store).
But I kept reminding Hamhock and Superboy that when they earn enough credits they’ll be able to buy a toy. I can’t believe how much fun we had looking at all the toys and talking about all the ones they wanted to save up for.
It was a far cry from the days of begging, tantrums, and finally me buying a toy out of sheer exasperation, after being hounded and hounded to go to the darn store in the first place!
April 14, 2009
Yesterday we went to the zoo with Hamhock’s friend from preschool.
I recently found a discipline approach that works for us: The Nurtured Heart Approach to Transforming the Difficult Child, and it has kept me in awe when it works everyday.
Hamhock pushed his friend while they were climbing the rocks by the giraffe cage, and I immediately ran over. Before I could whisper in his ear, he said: “I know!” I whispered anyway, “That’s a time-out. No pushing.” He came right with me to a quieter rock and sat down for a few seconds for his time-out.
Afterwards I said: “Next time, you can say: ‘Can you move please?'”
Later on, as we were walking to the playground, past the elephants and monkeys, all 3 boys were climbing on a the rock wall. I completely caught Hamhock saying to his friend who was in his way: “Can you move please?’! I couldn’t believe it!
I gave him lots of positive recognition right then and again when I gave him his credits before bedtime.
He was fixated on whining about getting an ice cream all day, though.